Lost in London

A look at London and life in general through the eyes of someone who sometimes can't bear to watch.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Daddy uncool

I was absolutely horrified to read this article in The Times the other day. I don't have any problem with anyone who decides to 'change' their sexuality (if such a thing is even possible), but I don't really like the way that the newly-straight Patrick Muirhead is so quick to deride his one-time gay comrades. Now that Patrick has decided that he's into women, civil partnerships are "are little more than theatrical shams involving men making a point in matching wedding cravats, of embarrassed grandparents and monstrously camp multi-tier cakes" and he winces when "gays describe boyfriends as 'husbands', subverting a solemn institution created to provide stability for child-rearing". It seems that as well as a new-found predilection for vaginas, Mr Muirhead has acquired a new line in bigotry and thinly-veiled homophobia.

The catalyst for Patrick's switcheroo was a touching moment between a father and son in a barber's shop. Right then, he decided that he simply *must* have a child of his own, so that someone would love him unconditionally. Perhaps if he were a nicer person in real life, people would love him. But no, as if selecting a Gucci handbag, Mr Muirhead decided he needed a child. Not for him the long fought for gay adoption rights or artificial insemination which he describes as a "snook to the system of nature"; despite the fact there are millions of unwanted children in the world, Patrick is adamant that he should procreate, and it doesn't seem to matter who it's with.

He has been flirting with a woman in his local pub. No doubt she will be flattered to have been selected for impregnation by a former gay who has now decided at the drop of a hat to have a child. What about meeting someone and falling in love and letting nature takes its course? It's not gay parents defying nature, Patrick. It's you. There's nothing natural about the way you think that being homosexual is abnormal, simply because the majority don't practise it.

Patrick's attitude is coming across a bit like someone who's just given up smoking or split up with their lover. While you were puffing away on your cigarettes, polluting the air of everyone in the vicinity, smoking was the best thing ever and you don't care what people think. Once you've stubbed out your last fag, they suddenly become the work of the Devil, eliciting disgust and sanctimonious bleating to the smokers who still like to cram a B&H into their laughing gear. Now that Patrick has 'dumped' his erstwhile sexuality, it repels him. He no longer understands it. he fears it. He thinks it is wrong, especially now that he doesn't do it any more. What a guy.

Good luck to you with your new arrangement. Just don't kid yourself that life is going to be any more fulfilling because you've taken the 'normal' route.


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