I must say that the ‘Paris Hilton goes to prison’ storyline is playing out magnificently. Summer’s notoriously a slow news time for the media and with the trail around Madeleine McCann (or Maddie/ Maddy as the press insist on calling her because the name Madeleine isn’t cutesy enough) going cold, Paris’s latest exploits are filling up the tabloid columns nicely.
Telenovelas have got nothing on the last couple of weeks in Paris’s life:
- HUMILIATED on live TV at the MTV Awards where a comedienne I’ve never heard of made an unbelievably obvious and humourless quip and made the world’s front pages.
- IMPRISONED for driving like a nutcase while pissed or on drugs or something. Funny how the original cause of all this is almost immaterial to the high drama happening.
- RELEASED after three days following reports of illness, but in fact was afraid of being photographed taking a shit (this from the woman who has a sex tape to thank for her notoriety and earnings).
- CAGED once more when a judge rules that she’s a lying cow and has to do her time. Sentence extended to full term.
- FINDS RELIGION within minutes of stepping through the cell door and hopes to be an example to other young girls.
I find the whole thing deathly dull and I’m sure there’s a wider debate to be had about celebrities, justice and tabloids but nobody, least of all the red tops, seems to want to have it. And why would they when Paris is just days away from disembowelling herself or, the more likely option, launching a new book, perfume and TV show based on her ‘experiences’ being shipped in and out of her private cell?
No doubt tabloid hacks up and down the country are rubbing their hands together, or more probably their groins, in glee.