What better way to round off the blog than one of those pointless memes that pretend to be probing and revelatory but in fact uncover precious little about you other than you like 'red' or something equally inane? Ah well, come on, what did you expect? Something deep and meaningful to close off the last five years? Don't be silly. I told you my last post would be an anti-climax.
If I were a month, I’d be December. Cold mostly, but with exciting times to come.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Tuesday. I was born on a Tuesday. Tueday's child is full of grace, apparently. I would go along with that. My mother may not.
If I were a time of day, I’d be 6.15pm. I was born at this time. It's a good time of day, too. Work is over and the evening stretches ahead of you.
If I were a planet, I’d be Mercury. Small, just that little bit too close to the Sun.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a seahorse. Well, I didn't want to be cliché-tastic and say 'dolphin' or 'fish'. Seahorse. Yeah, why not?
If I were a direction, I’d be west. Life is peaceful there.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be a footstool. I can be comforting. And reliable. And a walkover.
If I were a liquid, I’d be Plymouth gin. Not quite the same as all the other gins. And depressive. Haha.
If I were a gemstone, I’d be one of those glass beads on QVC. Why? Because I'm not remotely precious, in any sense of the word.
If I were a tree, I’d be a sycamore. Because I like the way it is spelled.
If I were a tool, I’d be George Lamb (ho ho ho). I mean, what are you supposed to say here? Hammer? Drill? Circular saw? I don't know any other tools. DIY to me is something entirely different and involves broadband and a darkened room.
If I were a flower, I’d be a violet. Because it's just one 'n' away from being aggro.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be drizzle. You know that type that gets you wet-through? And is persistent? Yeah, that's me.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a harpsichord. Ancient, yet tuneful.
If I were a colour, I’d be purple. The colour my face turns in a rage.
If I were an emotion, I’d be worry. I'm an overthinker. What can I say?
If I were a fruit, I’d be a raspberry. Not only tasty, but can be used to insult someone.
If I were a sound, I’d be the entirety of Into The Groove. Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free.
If I were an element, I’d be iron. According to Wikipedia: 'a lustrous metallic with a greyish tinge'. Yeah that sounds about right.
If I were a car, I’d be a Nissan Micra or something equally nondescript. I don't 'do' or particularly 'get' cars.
If I were a food, I’d be a risotto. Looks healthy on the service but packed with all the bad, tasty stuff.
If I were a place, I’d be a market town that's seen better days.
If I were a material, I’d be cotton. I really couldn't bring myself to be a man-made fibre. Nothing good ever comes of them.
If I were a taste, I’d be bitter.
If I were a scent, I'd be, er, smelly?
Thank you to those who have read the blog over the years. It is not 'the end'; I am using the excuse of a new broom to hotfoot it over to WordPress and start anew with a fresh outlook.
It has been a pleasure.